How Will Your Kids Survive While You Are In Prison
If you have children, their welfare will always be right at the front of your mind. If you are facing a term of imprisonment, you will be anxious about how your children will cope with your absence. There are three topics that worry any parent who is going to jail: How will your kids survive while you are in prison? How can you tell your kids that you are going to jail? Should you hide the truth from the children?
How a child can survive having a parent in prison
The first thing to remember is that children are resilient. We always want to protect our kids; that’s only natural. Sometimes this natural instinct to protect means we don’t give our children the chance to show us how strong they are. Children will find their own ways to cope with even the most awful disasters.
It is important to make sure your children understand that your absence is not their fault. When a parent leaves the family home (this often happens in divorce cases) children often believe that the family breakup is their fault. Give your children all the support and reassurance you can, and they will survive your imprisonment without being damaged by the experience.
Telling the kids you are going to jail
The only way to break any serious news to a child is to tell them what is going to happen. The way to tell a child that you are being sent to jail is to be forthright. Tell them in plain terms without going into unnecessary detail, and then be ready to give honest answers to any questions they want to ask you. Don’t be surprised if they just accept being told you are going to jail without comment. A child’s mind doesn’t work like an adult mind. They will digest what you have told them and then ask questions as they occur to them. Don’t worry if you child just says “OK, can I watch TV now”. It could be hours or days later when they suddenly ask how long you will be away, or what is the name of the jail.
The way you explain the situation to your child depends upon the child’s age. You need to tell the child in a way they will understand. The younger the child, the less detail you should try to give in one go. If your child is very young, it is better to simply tell them you have to go away and spend time in prison. There is no point in trying to explain the nature of your offence until the child is old enough to understand.
What to tell the kids
Should you tell children the truth? Always! You should always tell your children the truth. This does not mean you should tell children details they aren’t ready to understand; your explanation should be appropriate to the child’s age and level of understanding. As a parent you should set your children a good example and teach them to be honest.
Another reason for telling the truth right from the outset is that your children could be damaged if you lie to them and they discover the truth when they are older. Finding out that a parent they loved and trusted has deceived them will hurt their self-esteem as well as damaging your relationship with them. A simple truth told to a child will be accepted as part of life. The discovery of a lie can have devastating consequences in any relationship.
Recomended further reading:
Click here to find the ultimate prison survival guide